Rabbi Deborah J. Brin
Personalized Ceremonies, Rituals
& Pastoral Counseling
Rabbi Deborah J. Brin • Personalized
Ceremonies, Rituals & Pastoral Counseling
©2020 Rabbi Deborah J. Brin
TESTIMONIALS
Rabbi Deborah Brin is a rabbi beyond compare.
She is an exceptional leader, visionary, guide and
teacher who is able to bring Jewish wisdom to the
grasp of ordinary people. Rabbi Brin can tailor
life–cycle rituals to fit individuals and families
with a beauty and strength that is without
parallel. She created a naming ceremony for my
infant son which brought together all of the multi-
faceted strands of his heritage to welcome him
fully into the Jewish community. It was
profoundly moving for our family and for all in
attendance.
—Sara Koplik, Ph.D.
Director of Community Outreach Jewish Federation
of New Mexico,
Editor, New Mexico Jewish Link • Director of Hillel at UNM
Rabbi Brin helped us during a sad and
unexpected life cycle event; the sudden death of
Gary’s ex-wife who died, homeless,
on the streets of LA. We had not seen nor heard
from her for 35 years. Her circumstances had been
unknown to us. But both Gary and I were shocked
and disoriented by the discovery. We felt somehow
responsible for the life she had had.
Rabbi Brin took us into her office for counseling
and we sat at her table, strangers in the strange
land of grief and guilt. Rabbi Brin allowed us to
vent and to question and to wander inside our
tangled emotions. She gave us many hours of her
time and heard our confusion and gave us counsel
and comfort. And, most wonderful of all, she later
made a meaningful graveside service to honor and
to pay attention to the death of the homeless
woman who had once been a part of Gary’s life.
—Mary E. Carter & Gary W. Priester
Members Nahalat Shalom
Rabbi Brin has been a really important part of my
life. She supervised my conversion to Judaism, was
a major support through my transition (I’m a
transgender man), and did the wedding ceremony
when my wife and I got married. We’ve also spent
a lot of time together chilling with the Babylonian
Talmud. If you have Big Life Stuff going on, or
even if you don’t, you should talk to her. She listens
very deeply, doesn’t pretend to have all the
answers, and provides caring, calm reflection. She
sees the big picture of my life in a way I don’t
always. She’s also funny, down-to-earth, and good
at Aramaic. How often do you hear that list of
qualifications?
At the time I met Rabbi Brin, I was a terrified
twenty-year-old who had just moved cross-
country with a partner who subsequently broke up
with me. The members of Nahalat Shalom, with
Rabbi Brin at the forefront, kind of picked me up
out of the gutter, dusted me off, and told me
everything would be okay. I wasn’t easy to get
along with at that stage in my life, but Rabbi
Brin’s warmth, guidance, and ability to approach
discomfort without fear gave me confidence that
things could get better. Which they did. Her
steady presence was there, from hard times to
easier ones, and gave me something to hold onto.
I wasn’t born Jewish. When it was time, I talked to
a few different people about supervising my
formal conversion. Rabbi Brin was by far the best
one for me. She drew me into lots of friendly, life-
altering conversations about what it means to be
Jewish and participate in Jewish life and ritual.
My first large-scale exposure to Jewish life was
through Chabad, and I was worried about all the
things I needed to do and think and say to be a
perfect Jew. Rabbi Brin helped me refocus on
joining a beautiful and varied tradition, and
finding my place within it. The conversion felt like
coming home, and I still cry when I think about
my immersions. Her broad view of Judaism, as
well as her openness about her own experiences
and practice, has profoundly influenced the way I
think about ”doing Jewish.”
A few years after I met Rabbi Brin, I was facing a
big decision. I had been out as a lesbian for a long
time, but I couldn’t ignore the pull to transition
anymore. I wasn’t sure what to do. Rabbi Brin
helped me sort through a variety of conflicting
feelings and move forward with a clearer sense of
who I am and what I want. Both when I was
deciding to transition and when it came time for
top surgery, she listened carefully and offered me
new ways to think about seemingly
insurmountable problems. She didn’t push me in
any particular direction, but gave me a sense that
my thoughts and decisions were valid, and that I
could handle whatever I chose.
At the time of my transition, I was teaching
Hebrew school. She and a group of parents wrote
an affirming and celebratory letter to help
announce my transition to students and families,
and conducted a discussion session for people who
wanted to learn more about trans people in
general. Since then, she has also developed and co-
facilitated a presentation about gender and trans
people in Talmud. In addition to providing
personal support, she went out of her way to set up
institutional support for my transition and for
other trans people within the community.
About four years ago, Rabbi Brin officiated at my
wedding. My wife grew up in a very Jewish but
not traditionally observant family. Her main
exposure to Jewish ritual was going to seder every
year at her aunts’ house. When we decided to get
married, she was understandably nervous about
the wedding, especially since I’m more traditional
than she is. What exactly does a Jewish wedding
look like? Does there have to be a lot of Hebrew?
How do we make this a ceremony that is grounded
in our heritage but also personally meaningful to
us?
Rabbi Brin made her feel totally at ease, and
encouraged us to take an active role in developing
the ceremony. She illustrated the different parts of
a Jewish wedding, pointed out things we could
add, take out, or change, and suggested books and
other resources for us to look into. She helped us
figure out logistical details we hadn’t even thought
of. She spent time talking to us together and to
each of us individually, using those conversations
to put together a speech about us as a couple.
Thanks to her expertise and effort, our wedding
was awesome and a perfect fit for us. Friends and
family still talk about it.
All of which is just a long-winded way of saying
that Rabbi Brin is a phenomenal counselor, life-
cycle event coordinator, and overall Jewish
resource. She’s knowledgeable, actively engaged in
her own spiritual development, and exactly the
kind of interested, caring listener/guide you want
when . . . well . . . anything is happening.
I recommend her highly.
—Noah Bloom