Rabbi Deborah J. Brin - Personalized Ceremonies, Rituals & Pastoral Counseling

Rabbi Deborah Brin is a rabbi beyond compare. She is an exceptional leader, visionary, guide and teacher who is able to bring Jewish wisdom to the grasp of ordinary people. Rabbi Brin can tailor life-cycle rituals to fit individuals and families with a beauty and strength that is without parallel. She created a naming ceremony for my infant son which brought together all of the multi-faceted strands of his heritage to welcome him fully into the Jewish community. It was profoundly moving for our family and for all in attendance. I am profoundly grateful for her exceptional skills, knowledge and deep humanity. The attention to detail, care, honor, warmth and Judaic knowledge that Rabbi Brin brings to her holy work is unrivaled. I have watched her conduct many kinds of Judaic ceremonies, be they naming ceremonies, b'nai mitzvah, weddings or funerals, all of which had elements of the sublime. Whether in times of joy or sorrow, Rabbi Brin is able to address individuals' needs while incorporating the divine, thus bringing a depth of holiness that would be otherwise unreachable. —Sara Koplik, Ph.D. Director of Community Outreach Jewish Federation of New Mexico, Editor, New Mexico Jewish Link • Director of Hillel at UNM

Rabbi Brin helped us during a sad and unexpected life cycle event; the sudden death of Gary’s ex-wife who died, homeless, on the streets of LA. We had not seen nor heard from her for 35 years. Her circumstances had been unknown to us. But both Gary and I were shocked and disoriented by the discovery. We felt somehow responsible for the life she had had. Rabbi Brin took us into her office for counseling and we sat at her table, strangers in the strange land of grief and guilt. Rabbi Brin allowed us to vent and to question and to wander inside our tangled emotions. She gave us many hours of her time and heard our confusion and gave us counsel and comfort. And, most wonderful of all, she later made a meaningful graveside service to honor and to pay attention to the death of the homeless woman who had once been a part of Gary’s life. —Mary E. Carter & Gary W. Priester

I first met Rabbi Brin at the lowest moment of my life, and I’m not sure how I could have gotten through that moment — and the many that followed — without her wisdom and compassion. Rabbi Brin was the chaplain at the hospital where my 3-week-old daughter was dying. So Deborah came into my life just because she happened to be on call. Quite simply, she gave me a way forward when I didn’t think there was one. Her religious guidance got down to the essentials as we sorted through the big questions: “Why me? Is it my fault?” And, especially, “How do I go on?” That was the genesis of a friendship and spiritual relationship that has sustained me in the decades since. I joined the synagogue that Rabbi Brin went on to lead, and I’m glad to say she was there for the happy times, too. She educated my other daughter and saw us through the joyous time of Bat Mitzvah. Rabbi Brin is honest when the going gets tough, and a valued friend while celebrating the good stuff. She is a wonderful teacher, open and with a gift for explaining. She is accepting of all and knows how to bring Judaism to wherever someone is at in their life. I can’t imagine life without her. —Ellen Marks

When I first connected with Rabbi Brin, it was as someone who'd just moved to New Mexico and had little to recommend me except a largely uninformed passion for learning more about my Jewish-ness. I chose her to reach out to, out of several local rabbis I'd met, because she seemed (by leaps and bounds) the most lit-up when she talked about Jewish learning and history. I definitely made the right choice. I'd had very little experience with Jewish community or religion before, so I was nervous and had no idea what to expect. But studying under Rabbi Brin was nothing except joy, challenge, and expansion. She struck a lovely balance of encouragement and hands-off-ness; she clearly loves her subject matter dearly and has a truly fascinating breadth and depth of knowledge, but not to a point where it ever felt like a 'lecture'. She never hesitated to admit if we'd reached the limits of her expertise on a topic, and would quickly connect me to other Jewish thinkers or writers who might be better equipped to speak on whatever I'd asked about. Connecting with her was everything I wanted my re-connection with Judaism to be. Even once our official studies wrapped up, she continued to treat me like family -- inviting me to her seder, helping me put together a rather short-notice bris ceremony for my newborn son mid-pandemic, and doing her best to make sure I was well connected and supported by community as a new parent. My only regret is that I had to move away! —Jack Dunn

Rabbi Brin is a special gift in this world. She has a unique ability to bring a room together like no one else. Rabbi Brin has a way of making you feel connected and included as if the service or ceremony was meant just for you. I first got to know Rabbi Brin while I was a teacher at her congregation’s religious school. I was inspired by her blend of knowledge, wisdom, humor, and compassion. During High Holiday services, she has a masterful way of integrating history, current events, as well as her own personal experiences. She communicates in a way that’s easy to understand. Though she is a true scholar, she speaks in a way that can reach everyone. Over the years I have lived in various parts of the world, and Rabbi Brin has remained a teacher, friend, and guide. When my wife and I got engaged, there was only one rabbi that I prayed would officiate the wedding. To our good fortune, Rabbi Brin made the long journey to marry us. As the wedding was in India, many of the guests had never experienced a Jewish wedding. She explained each step and prayer in a way that made it meaningful and memorable for all in attendance. Many commented afterward that the ceremony was not only exceptionally beautiful but also quite informative. Rabbi Brin has a brilliant mind, loving heart, and strong soul. I’m truly grateful she is in our lives. —Seth Hoffman

It has been my delight and pleasure to know Rabbi Brin since she was a camper at Jewish summer camp (Camp Tikvah) in Northern Minnesota. Over the years, as our paths crossed, I watched as she developed the skills and compassion to become the true definition of a Rabbi, a teacher, and a spiritual leader. This was never more personally meaningful than when my wife RuthAnn z’l informed me before her death that she wanted Rabbi to come home to Minnesota to preside over her funeral service. Of course, Rabbi came. Rabbi and RuthAnn had known each other for many years, and I always thought they shared a deep connection based on long discussions and the ability to truly listen. But I was wholly unprepared for the depth by which Rabbi caught the essence of this unusual woman. Yes, Rabbi spoke with our family and friends to catch up on RuthAnn’s life, and she talked about the highlights of that life; but what she said about who RuthAnn was as an individual, and who we were as a couple; was so perfect, so meaningful to the people in attendance and our extended family, that almost 10 years later I still carry memories of those words, and that day, with me. That’s who Rabbi Deborah Brin is. If you know her, you know the truth of that. And if you ever sit in her class or congregation; or need her to officiate at any lifecycle event; well then you will know too. —Jon Weiss, MSW Minneapolis and Tucson

My husband went on home hospice in November 2017. Through our social worker, I was connected with an LGBT caregivers support group. Rabbi Brin hosted the group, and that is how I had the good fortune of having her in my life. The group was primarily people who were caring for a parent or partner. While much of our discussions were sharing stories and sorrows, Rabbi Brin always kept us focused on brainstorming and problem solving. She directed us toward practical solutions for issues at hand and managing self-care. Her experience brought many tips and techniques, but the style with which she ran the group often led to us figuring out the best way to work within our own situation. Empowerment was a big part of successes. Mark survived fourteen months and I stayed with the group for a couple months after his passing. I was learning to navigate grief independently and was mostly successful. A year later the pandemic hit. Still in grief, the isolation and uncertainty we all experienced was compounded. The loss of a friend, family member, and pet took away all sense of purpose and security. I reached out to Rabbi Brin and fortunately she was available. We were able to arrange counseling sessions over the phone, originally with a schedule, and then as needed as my situation improved. Initially, I wanted a sounding board. Someone to listen to me and then rescue me. Rabbi doesn’t work that way. She compassionately heard my fears and worries, but then asked me what I wanted to do about them. Together we would come up with a plan, an action, a tool, that I could use through the week to keep my composure. Stay on course. And then she would follow up on my progress or redirect if need be. Rabbi would help with the rudder, but always reminded me that I needed to guide the boat. —Wayne

We are so grateful that Deborah officiated our ceremony. She was thoughtful, personable, detail oriented, and designed a ceremony that was meaningful for both of us. Thank you Deborah! —Noah & Misty

Psychotherapy has a lot to offer, but I was looking for something else, since my concerns have been existential and with no clear target for intervention. Rabbi Brin is compassionate and straightforward, and has helped me enormously with higher-level and somewhat abstract problem-solving. She does not let me get in my own way, validates when circumstances are unreasonable, and gives advice on how to work around nonsensical obstacles. I have always felt she is invested in my well-being beyond just the hour a week I spend with her. She keeps me focused on the meaning I make out of my human experience, and relatively indirectly this has led to my leading a good Jewish life. —Lynette Abrams-Silva

I am not sure if you remember some advice that you gave me when I first started studying at the Friday Beyond Torah group. When I first met with you privately in your office, I brought along my Mikvah certificate to show to you. I mentioned to you that one of the rabbis that I had studied with on my way to my mikvah had advised me NOT to write about my experiences coming to my Jewish self after my age 50. He said that doors would close to me if I did that. You listened with your usual kavanah, concentration and intention, and with much consideration, and then you said to me that though you respected that rabbi, you had different advice for me. You advised me that: if I would write about my experiences that "doors would open" for me. And so they have. Since my mikvah, twelve years ago, I have written 4 novels with Jewish themes. Each of my books has received encouraging award recognition. Now, I have written another one. Soon to be published this spring. But most importantly -- your words of encouragement helped to send me further on my journey to write books with Jewish themes and to tell my story. —Mary Carter

As a queer interfaith couple, we knew we needed to find the right officiant for our wedding ceremony. Luckily, we were able to work with Rabbi Brin! We wanted to start our married life together not only by celebrating with family and friends, but also by connecting with Jewish ritual, spiritual tradition, and our wider community. Rabbi Brin met with us several times to discuss our hopes for our future together, our values as a couple, and our vision for our wedding ceremony. She talked us through questions and concerns particular to our situation, with loved ones in attendance who may never have been to a Jewish wedding or a gay wedding, not to mention a gay Jewish wedding! She officiated a spiritually meaningful, joy and laughter-filled ceremony that reflected the story of our partnership so far and the values we aim to carry forward -- one of the happiest days of our lives. Thank you, Rabbi Brin! —Ray and Meagan

We have known Rabbi Brin since 2005- almost 20 years! She has been integral to the lives of our family, making Judaism accessible to all of us. Rabbi Brin performed the Bat and Bar Mitzvah of our three children, met with us during many family events and performed my father’s recent funeral service. Without a doubt, Rabbi Brin’s impact on our family’s life has been deep and strong. She has always come through for us at the right time and in the most meaningful way. Her warmth, knowledge, and wisdom have left a lasting impression on us all. We hope to remain in contact with Rabbi Brin for many, many years to come”. - Jeff and Joanne Katzman